Penn Jelqman A part time cinephile, and a full time Chinchilla dad. When heโs not writing essays on why lizard women shouldnโt have breasts, he can be found at the local coffee shop explaining communism to soccer moms. Penn Jelqman holds a PhD in Historical Gender fluid studies and a Masters in Oedipulogical Art Theory. A discipline that he made up to study Milfs in the wild.